Saturday, September 09, 2006

And the Next President is...

The Maronite bishops have highlighted the main problem in Lebanon; as a “Chronic Disease Embedded in the Presidency”, a search is on for a new president to replace Emile الهبيل

The race is on.

Before we expect too much, let us recall that cautionary tale, from Machiavelli’s Bible, the Book of Nemesis [2:1-2:22].

It is so written:

1After God created the human body, the different organs argued about who would be the boss. 2The ruler of the body. 2The Leader. 3الزعيم. 4ת' ראש

5The BRAIN was first to claim the throne; “Since I control all and think for everyone, I should be Leader”, said he.

6The HEART challengeth the brain; “I pump the blood that giveth life to all, and feed thou Brain's thoughts and controls. 7I should be Leader”, said he.

8The LUNGS challengeth the heart; “Nay, We bringeth in the air that feeds the brain's thoughts. Without me thou heart would pumpeth for nothing. 9We should be Leader”, said they.

10The LEGS challengeth the Lungs; “We carry thou around to feed, and breathe, so you can power the heart and brain. 11We should be Leader”, said they.

12The HANDS challengeth the Legs; “We do all the work, and the unspeakable chores. 13We should be Leader”, said they.

14Each organ cameth and gone, asserting claims to the throne. 15Then cometh the ANUS, asserting his claim.

16And the other organs made fun of him; how can the ANUS rule over them? 17The idea was inconceivable!

18So the ANUS became upset and CLOSED.

19The BRAIN could not think, the LUNGS suffocated, the HEART struggled to pump, the HANDS could only shake, and the LEGS could hold no more. 20So they all begged him to come back and rule them

21And so it was decided, the ANUS became ruler, and ascended to the throne, and became henceforth know as ASSHOLE, and the people rejoiced, and there was much rejoicing across the land.

The moral of the Story:

Guess who Lebanese politicians will choose the next Lebanese president?

And that is the best case scenario. They make Aoun and his histrionics look good, in comparison…

Come to think of it, how else did this one stay in power? Ehud could learn from Emile.


ghassan karam said...

Once the anus closes the patient can regain all normal functions through some risk taking and tolerating pain. The patient should in this case avoid becoming ruled by the asshole by allowing a surgeon to remove the closed anus by going under the knife for a painful operation. When there is a will there is a way.

Jeha said...

Good point.

And this particular Anus leaves the patient little choice. He would not open, even when allowed to rule....

R said...

very entertaining though not quite as appetizing :).