Tuesday, April 01, 2008

April's Fools

Today, on April 1st, one would have expected a few pranks when looking at the news. But our (sur)reality leaves little room for imagination

Indeed, politics is often about spin and appearances, but the past week saw the region go a another step beyond what even the most Blasé is expected to swallow;

·Victor, Victoria: In spite of hosting (yet another) useless summit, Syria really wants to play nice, while its local opponents are crowing a “Victory and Abstentia”. Indeed, this is as great a victory as Nasrallah’s “divine victory”; having allowed HassAoun to drag us into a destructive war, March 14th has masterfully allowed the goons to freeze the country, and sidestep the Presidential election. In this void, some entrepreneurs continue their little drug trafficking. I guess we have time… And in any case, they can still regulate reality away.

·Mata Hari: According to Joumblat, Bashar has a “secret code”. It is so secret that one needs only RTF secret instruction by reading the Syrian press, or listening to the many useful idiots who craftily cover for it in the West. Indeed, such secrecy is important; Bashar would not want to fall foul of the Syrian justice system

·Peace on Earth: The United States, currently under a lame-duck president, actually expects us to believe it (really) wants peace in the region. Condy Rice is (really) pushing that baby out… Just like her boss is really trying to improve the prospects of the economy… Maybe the relative high density of morons in the Arab world gives the world a bad idea; on average, we Arabs are no more gullible than others

·The Manson Family: Finally, real progress by Le Sieur Bellamare, who just revealed who really killed Hariri; it was indeed a “band of individuals”. Wow. So, while this does not rule out those nefarious Americans, it is still a “great step forward”, since suicide finally ruled out… Môdie Côlisse


At least, the Lebanese can rest easy; the great national “Marja3” has decreed that public institutions should remain unscathed. As long as they’re Iraqi, that is…

Lebanese Institutions need not apply.

… As for the Lebanese

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